It has been awhile since I last got into anything of an artistic nature, be that writing or fine art and I am beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to get back into it.

I came to Oxford this summer with an additional intent of finding my muse again. Jesse, May and even Lyric have been off doing their own things for months, at least, and left me without even a note to tell me when they would be back. I'm at a loss for this.

This is not to say I do not still have my creativity. I have a few ideas for stories and art projects but I feel...lost almost, like a novice who has no idea where to start. I need a push or something to get me on my way. Initiative has never been a strong suit of mine and now, when I most desire it, it is even more elusive than it ever has been in the past.

Of all things, photography has been my pseudo-outlet for creativity. With the road trip I took earlier this summer and here at Oxford, I am seeing plenty of new things and wish to record them in some way. In the past, photography was never a strong desire or avenue to pursue, though I have many friends and acquaintances who enjoy it very much, Jen to name but one. It never struck me as something to go after, though, to study and enjoy, but I find now, at the ripe old age of twenty years it is the one thing I have really been able to adhere to. But even so, I find myself simply trying to commit things to memory rather than try to capture them in a camera obscura.

This is not to say, again, that I have not done a few things. I sketch now and again but I still find myself at a loss for being able to do anything else rather than simply sketch. Drawing and painting and anything else of that nature is really getting to be a weak or non-existent past time of mine. Again, I feel lost, hopeless against this horrendous block that seems to be in my path.

And I wonder if I should even try move it.